Monday Chat | Sep 22, 2025
📌 Question: "Why Don't Refugees Just Go Back Home?" The question every sponsor thinks but doesn't ask—and why the answer changes everything.
Stuck in limbo? Join Exit to Hope Community 🌍 — 1,000 free spots for a proven roadmap, live guidance & community support.
Don’t forget to hit subscribe for free and get a PDF packed with tips to kickstart your path toward belonging and a brighter future!
"Why Don't Refugees Just Go Back Home?" The Unseen Risks and Realities
Picture us again sitting over coffee. You've been sponsoring a refugee family for six months. They're struggling with language, missing family, homesick. And that question creeps in...
"Why don't they just go back home? Wouldn't it be easier?"
You feel guilty for thinking it. But you're not alone. Every sponsor I've worked with has wondered this at some point. So let's talk about it honestly.
Because understanding why "going home" isn't an option will transform how you support your sponsored family.
THE BRUTAL REALITY: HOME ISN'T WAITING
Here's what "going home" actually means for most refugees:
🏠 HOME DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE
House burned, bombed, or confiscated
Neighborhood destroyed or controlled by hostile forces
Family land seized by government or militias
Infrastructure collapsed—no hospitals, schools, clean water
Fatima's reality: Her family's three-generation home in Syria is now rubble. The bakery her father ran for 30 years? A crater. The school where she taught? Military headquarters.
Going back means living in a tent. If she's lucky.
⚖️ LEGAL PERSECUTION AWAITS
Arrest warrants for "fleeing illegally"
Property confiscated as "punishment for disloyalty"
No access to legal system or fair trials
Families criminalized for seeking asylum elsewhere
Ahmed's reality: He spoke out against government corruption before fleeing. Going back means prison. Or worse. His wife and kids would become targets too.
💀 PHYSICAL DANGER INTENSIFIED
Those who fled are seen as traitors or cowards
Family members punished for refugee's actions abroad
Women face increased violence and restrictions
Children become recruitment targets for armed groups
Maryam's reality: As a woman who lived independently in Canada, returning to Taliban-controlled Afghanistan means house arrest, no work, no education for her daughters. She'd rather die here than live there.
🩺 MEDICAL DEATH SENTENCES
Chronic conditions manageable in Canada become fatal back home
Mental health support nonexistent
Children with disabilities face abandonment or worse
Elderly parents need care unavailable in war zones
Hassan's reality: His son has diabetes. Insulin costs $300/month in Iraq—if you can find it. Here, it's covered. Going back literally means watching his child die.
THE EMOTIONAL TORTURE OF "CHOICE"
Here's what keeps me awake at night as a sponsor coordinator:
Every refugee I work with wants to go home. Not to the current reality—to the home that existed before everything changed. The home that lives only in their memories now.
They grieve two losses:
The home they left behind
The home they can never return to
When sponsors ask "Why don't you just go back?" what refugees hear is "Why don't you just accept defeat and die?"
WHAT YOUR SPONSORED FAMILY NEEDS YOU TO UNDERSTAND
THEY DIDN'T CHOOSE TO LEAVE
They were forced out. No one abandons everything familiar by choice. They left because staying meant death, torture, or watching their children suffer.
THEY'RE NOT TOURISTS
This isn't a temporary visit abroad. This is permanent displacement from everything they've ever known. They're building new lives from zero while grieving everything they lost.
THEY CARRY SURVIVOR'S GUILT
Every day here is a reminder that they're safe while others aren't. Success feels like betrayal of those left behind.
INTEGRATION IS SURVIVAL, NOT PREFERENCE
Learning English, adapting customs, finding work—these aren't choices. They're survival skills for a life sentence in exile.
HOW TO SUPPORT THEM BETTER
STOP ASKING "WHY NOT GO BACK?"
Start asking "How can I help you build home here?"
VALIDATE THEIR GRIEF
"This must be so hard, missing home" instead of "At least you're safe now."
UNDERSTAND THEIR TIMELINE
Integration takes 5-7 years minimum. Stop expecting gratitude for "rescue"—start offering partnership for rebuilding.
CONNECT THEM WITH OTHERS
Nothing heals isolation like community with people who understand their experience.
THE HARD TRUTH FOR SPONSORS
Your sponsored family isn't temporarily displaced. They're permanently exiled.
They're not ungrateful when they struggle. They're human beings processing the most traumatic experience possible—losing everything and starting over in a foreign place.
They're not "lucky to be here." They're unlucky to need to be here.
The difference matters. It changes how you see their tears, their struggles, their small victories, their homesickness.
YOUR MONDAY CHALLENGE
This week, ask your sponsored family about one good memory from home. Not about why they left, but about what they loved.
Listen without trying to fix. Don't say "at least" anything. Just witness their loss and honor what they've survived.
Then ask: "What would help this place feel more like home to you?"
Sometimes it's as simple as finding ingredients for a familiar meal. Sometimes it's connecting with others from their country. Sometimes it's just knowing someone cares enough to ask.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Refugees don't "just go back" because home isn't there anymore. What's there is the shell of a place that once held everything they loved, now filled with everything they fear.
Your job as a sponsor isn't to replace what they lost. It's to help them build something new worth staying for.
When you understand that, everything changes. Their struggles make sense. Their small victories become monumental. Your support becomes lifesaving.
Ready to shift from rescuer to rebuilding partner?
What's one way you can help your sponsored family create "home" in your community this week?
The Voice Behind the Writing
I focus on creating pathways that make it easier for people to move forward in a new setting. My goal is to raise a community of newcomers who are strong, informed, and prepared for their next steps.
I begin by entering their lives, listening, and building trust. I walk with them through trauma, helping them heal and find strength again. As stability grows, I guide them toward safe transition options and prepare them for what lies ahead.
Community integration is not the starting point. It is the final step of a long and difficult journey. Along the way, I make information clear and open so newcomers know their choices, and so the public knows how to act with them.
A subscription gets you:
🌍 Weekly Monday Chats
Join us every Monday for powerful insights, myth-busting, and insider stories from within the refugee community.
✅ Discover truths you won’t hear in the media
✅ Hear real voices and lived experiences
✅ Learn how change really happens — from the inside out
📅 Monthly Impact Update
Each month, receive a focused update on:
✅ Who needs urgent help
✅ How your support is making a difference
✅ Clear actions you can take to help those with the deepest survival needs
🤝 Join My Paid Community
Be part of a space where compassion meets action.
✅ Ask questions directly
✅ Connect with like-minded, mission-driven individuals
✅ Gain exclusive content and behind-the-scenes updates
This is more than a community — it’s a movement.
Let’s walk this path together. 💬✨